My inward journey (S1 E2)

2nd December, 2022
3:03 pm

I have written the first episode of my inward journey on 4th October 22. There was a long silence from my side. This is my inward journey season 1 episode 2 (S1 E2). I do not know why I lag. The laziness? Depression? Not focused? Couldn’t concentrate?
 
Till date I have no answer. But every day I thought of to write my inward journal. It is true I was busy with my father’s health. I admitted him to ICCU in HHP due to the fall of sodium. I was very tensed. First time I faced such a reality.
 
We had lunch at 3.30 pm. We were all there. Father said, I have to sleep. Couldn’t eat more. Maa said, ok, take food as much as you can and then go to bed. Within a few minutes, I noticed he starred blank on the right side. I shouted baba, baba. No answer. I left my sit and hold my father firmly and called loudly baba, baba. He came down from a superficial world and asked me about the incident. I hide and say, you slept in the dining chair. He trusted. Nandita and I hold him firmly and helped him to go into the bedroom. He has a backache due to reduce space of two lumber bones. Therefore, we helped him to climb onto the bed. It is high enough than the usual height. Every year in the rainy season, our area is going waterlogged, and rainwater enter into our house for at least 2 to 3 days. So, we installed one brick to each bed stand to save the wood.
 
Whatever, again I narrate the incident. It was really tough to lift him on the bed. He asked for going to the washroom. I object and bring a bucket. But he refused. It started a pain in his abdomen. Again, he said for urinal pot. But no urine. Me and Nandita tried to sit him on the bed. In the meantime, urine come out in an uncontrolled manner. Nandita put the bucket near the bed. I helped him to wear a fresh lungi. I told him to sleep. When we set him on the bed, I saw his eyes were half closed and only the white portion was visible. I had no ideas that it is happen only when we are going to unconscious. That was the first time for me, so there were no ideas about it. He comes to conscious and unconscious mind frequently. When he come to reality, he asked us what has happen to him?

He slept, and we did not like to take food again. Santai was in the drawing room. That is his dining place. She loves to take food by watching TV. We all joined and watch a movie. My mind was unsteady. I visited parents’ bedroom within 5 minutes again and I found father’s eyes are half closed and on the white areas were visible.

I called loudly, baba, baba. There was no answer. Again, I called him. I was very tense. I called Nandita. Maa also comes along with Santai. Mother told me to splash water on my father’s face. Again, he turned into a normal position and asked, what happen? Santai stood near my father’s head. Once my father opened his eyes and found Santai rubbing his forehead softly. Father said, Maa o Maa. Santai could not hold herself. She cried silently. Oh! God, what to do now? I had no idea about it.

Maa asked me to call a doctor. We tried to communicate with Dr. Sumit Mazumder. But he was out of town. We decided to hospitalize my father. Nandita called Bapi, an assistant of Dr. D. Chakraborty over the cell phone. He said that it might be the deficiency of sodium and potassium. He suggested admitting my father to a nearby hospital like HHP. We want the ambulance number from Bapi also.

Nandita called the ambulance. It comes to our doorstep within 10 minutes. It was tough to put my father on the stretcher. He is bulky and stretched his hands. He was in his subconscious mind. I called Aparna madam and his husband Joy babu to be in HHP emergency. I and Nandita went to HHP by ambulance. Nandita holds one of my father’s hands and I sat with her. I stared outside from the window of the ambulance. I could not explain my status. I saw the paths, people, and vehicles going just like a picturesque view. All were deaf and dumb. It was another world. I heard only the siren of an ambulance.

Father was admitted in an emergency. After a preliminary checkup doctor decided to admit him to ICCU. Father was admitted under Dr. S. Bandopahdyay. He said the critical situation happened due to a sodium fall or heart attack or kidney problem.

I was very tense. Nandita was always beside me. She was a great support for me. In the meantime, Aparna madam and Joy babu come to HHP. Shamelessly I told them about the emergency money. They said not to worry about it and carried already 10k. I recognized my friends at that time. Though the money was not required they stand beside me with monetary and physical support.

Lots of tests were going on. The reception counter said to deposit 20k and an AAdhar card photocopy of my father. I gave them 10k. HHP was very much supportive. They said that every evening I had to enquire about the full bill amount and pay a percentage of it. Buro come and contact Sumit babu. He is an employee of HHP.

He was very much humble. He talked to the RMO and told them that I am his relative. I was touched. He gave me a clean blanket to call him at any time if there was any emergency rose.

At 11.30 pm, I called Sumit babu. He said it was all about the deficiency of sodium. It was 111. normal is 135-145. The treatment was going on for the next four days. Father was shifted to a general bed after two days from ICCU. My student Soumik was also with me the next day. He told me not to worry about the monetary requirement.

Though my father was a government employee and have a WBHS card I was so tense on that day, I forgot to admit him to the empaneled hospital of WBHS. HHP is not on the list of WBHS.

Now the father is quite OK. Physiotherapy treatment is still going on for the lumber spine problem in our home. The most unfortunate thing was that the memory of two days starting from lunchtime to the last day in ICCU was clipped. He had no idea about those days. When we asked him about that incident day, he said, he could remember only some unknown people were walking near his bed in our house. He couldn’t recognize the hospital room and nurses.

I thought of those days. I woke up at any point in time after seeing a bad dream. Everything had been passing and I found myself as an actor who played his role only. I observed every footstep very critically. I took leave from college. My daily routine was to see my father, bought medicines, and consult doctors. Nandita was always with me. We returned home every day from 12.30 to 1 pm. Again, we set back to HHP at 4.30 pm. The final return was around 8-8.30 pm.

I saw so many patient parties made a crowd at 5 pm in visiting hour. They were gossiping, giggling, or busy with mobile phones. Some patient party cried loudly as their admitted relative might be in critical condition. I observed a winning smile from some relatives whose patient was discharged on that day. They were so happy on that day. I asked myself when that auspicious day would come in my life?

I thought of a frame. I sat in the waiting passage and other patient parties were moving here and there. A slow shutter speed and my camera lens made a beautiful frame as the time passes but I remain there stood still and observe the moving time.